Parenting Tips (With a Side of Laughter)
- MomLifeWithMary
- Nov 4, 2024
- 2 min read
Parenting—it's the ultimate journey full of surprises, plenty of love, and, let’s be real, more spilled juice than you ever thought possible. Here’s a roundup of totally serious (yet, kind of silly) tips to help keep the household running and your sanity intact:
1. The Art of Selective Hearing
Selective hearing isn’t just for toddlers or teenagers—it’s an elite parenting skill. Perfect your “Oh, that’s nice, honey!” response for those moments when your child runs up, eyes shining, to announce, “Mom, I made you breakfast in bed…using toothpaste and Cheez-Its.” Resist the urge to gag, nod with a big smile, and say something vague but supportive like, “You’re so creative!” Then, seamlessly steer the conversation toward something safer—like, “Hey, let’s see what’s in the fridge!”
2. The Tactical Snack Stash
Forget your purse—the real parenting essentials are stashed in every corner of the car, sofa cushions, or under your bed: snacks! Goldfish, pretzels, and fruit snacks. Because when the going gets tough, the tough grab a fruit snack. Just watch out if you have a teething toddler; they will find and gnaw on anything remotely edible.
3. The "Toy Clean-Up" Game (aka Jedi Mind Trick)
Kids love games, so turn every chore into one. “Bet you can’t pick up all those LEGOs in less than 10 seconds!” Spoiler: they totally can. This skill works wonders until they’re old enough to realize they’re being duped, at which point, hand over the broom and let them discover the magic of cleaning.
4. Mastering the 3-Minute Shower
Becoming a parent also means learning survival skills. And yes, a three-minute shower is a survival skill. Shampoo and conditioner in one, soap that doubles as face wash—it’s all about efficiency. Extra points if you can successfully block out the sounds of kids knocking on the door, yelling about how one stole the other’s socks.
5. The Great Negotiation
Oh, how the tables turn when you try to negotiate bedtime. If only your child would use their negotiation skills for world peace! Hold firm, parents, but if they hit you with, “Just one more story, pleaseeee,” make it a very short one. (Hint: stories about bunnies who sleep early are surprisingly effective.)
6. The 'Pretend You're Asleep' Technique
For those precious morning minutes when you hear the pitter-patter of little feet but just aren’t ready to get up yet. This technique involves ignoring tiny finger taps and whispering until they (hopefully) decide to give you a few more minutes of peace. No guarantees, though.
7. Using Humor as Armor
If your kitchen looks like a crime scene every time you cook with kids, lean into it. “Oh no, it’s the Great Flour Explosion of 2024!” Humor takes the edge off and helps remind you (and them) that it’s all part of the messy journey.
Parenting is hard, but a little humor goes a long way. Sometimes the best survival tip is remembering that they’re only little for so long… even if the years sometimes feel very, very long!
~ Mary