Valentine’s Day: A Mom’s Journey from Sweetheart to Sweat-Heart Attack 😂💖
- MomLifeWithMary
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
Ah, Valentine’s Day—the holiday of love, romance, and, if you’re a mom, a one-way ticket to Crazy Town 🚂💨 via the Express Train of Last-Minute Crafting, Sticker-Stuffing, and Why-Do-We-Have-So-Many-Freaking-Valentines Syndrome. 😵💫💘
Let’s set the scene: It all started with the Valentine’s Box Battle Royale 🎁🎨.
This year, I miraculously talked Brittany and Blake into matching basketball-themed boxes—a true mom win! 🏆 No fighting, no “but I wanted a unicorn spaceship 🦄🚀,” no duct-taping random objects into “creative masterpieces.” Just simple colored trash cans 🗑️, a backboard, and their little faces postered in the corner, looking like they were about to slam dunk their way into the hearts of their classmates. 🏀💖 Genius, right?
False.
I forgot one thing: hot glue guns and children do not mix. 🔥😬
Blake, armed with the precision of a blindfolded toddler 🍼 and the energy of a feral raccoon 🦝, nearly glued his hand to the basketball hoop. 😱 Brittany, ever the perfectionist ✨, decided the angle of her mini basketball wasn’t “aesthetically pleasing” and kept yanking it off to “fix it”, effectively gluing and ungluing it SEVEN TIMES before declaring it “fine, I guess.” 😤🎨
Meanwhile, the dog—bless his nosy little soul 🐶—tried to steal a basketball off the table, resulting in a chaotic chase around the house while I screamed, “THAT IS NOT A DOG TOY, DUKE!” 🤬🏃♀️💨
After two burnt fingertips 🔥🤕, one suspiciously missing glue stick 🔎, and Blake somehow getting a sticker stuck to his forehead, we emerged victorious. Hallelujah! 🙌
Or so I thought.
Next stop: The Great Valentine’s Stuff-a-Thon. 😵💌
Blake’s class needed 19 Valentines. 🤯Brittany’s class? 27. 🫠And because the universe loves to test my will to survive, her cheerleading team? 29. 😭
Do the math. That’s 75 Valentines. SEVENTY-FIVE. SEV.ENTY. FIVE. 🤯💀
Stuffed, sealed, stickered, and accompanied by candy 🍬 and (for cheer) matching bracelets. 📿 Because, apparently, just writing “Happy Valentine’s Day” on a tiny card isn’t enough in 2025. No, no, no. We must now include accessories, gifts, and possibly our souls. 👻
I looked at the pile of work before me, took a deep breath 😮💨, and immediately considered running away. 🚗💨
Step 1: Stuff the envelopes. Easy, right? WRONG. 🚨
Brittany somehow made a glitter explosion happen despite there being NO glitter involved. 🎇
Blake decided to “help” by licking every single envelope shut like a rogue golden retriever. 😬🐶
The dog, seeing a moment of weakness, ate a candy. 🍫🤦♀️
I, nearing my breaking point, ate three. 🍬🍬🍬
Step 2: Sticker Time. 😵💫
Valentine’s stickers are cute in theory but an actual form of medieval torture in practice. 😡💀
They stick to everything except the actual envelope. 🤦♀️
Brittany insisted on perfect placement (read: taking five minutes per sticker). 😑
Blake, on the other hand, went rogue and started slapping them on his face, the table, and at one point, the dog. 🐶😂
Step 3: The Final Count 🔢
We finished at 11:47 p.m. ⏳
By that time:✔️ Brittany had “lost” (read: dropped behind the couch) three Valentines 🤦♀️✔️ Blake had spilled an entire box of candy 🍬😱✔️ The dog had eaten a second piece of chocolate (send prayers) 🙏✔️ I had given up on life and was drinking a Capri Sun like a broken woman. 🥤😵
BUT WE DID IT. 75 Valentines. Stuffed, sealed, and ready to spread overpriced, sticker-covered joy to an army of children. 🎉
And just as I was about to collapse into bed, Brittany looked at me and said, “Oh, Mom, we forgot to make one for the teacher.” 🫠🫠🫠
…I need a drink. 🍷
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the moms out there surviving this holiday! 🫶
May your glue guns stay hot, your stickers actually stick, and your children NOT decide at the last second that they “don’t like” their Valentine’s after you’ve spent hours crafting them.
And if they do? Pass the wine. 🍷😂
~ Mary